• Madison

Working Out Of Love ~ Not For Love


And all the people pleasers said….AMEN.


For some of you, this concept seems quite obvious. But for others, like myself, this is a daily battle. Regardless of your ability to relate, please take this as a challenge to check in with your motives.


To my dear servant-hearted, can’t say no, go-getter sis...


Your actions.

Your accomplishments.

The number of projects.

Your number of followers.

The amount of gratitude.

The lack of gratitude.

The love from others.


Do not reflect nor determine your value.







Let me say that again for the girl in the back…


Your actions.

Your accomplishments.

The number of projects.

Your number of followers.

The amount of gratitude.

The lack of gratitude.

The love from others.

Do not reflect nor determine your value.



Keep in mind, I am not speaking at you, but rather with you. This is coming from your sister. Your sister who is learning this lesson each and every day. I get it. You want to help. You want to push forward and do alllllll the things. Most likely all good things. BUT we must be cautious that those things are done in a healthy way. When we choose to finally believe our worth, we start to live and serve differently. We start to pour out into others with no strings attached. We start to lift the burdens of performance and walk in freedom. Freedom from lies, freedom from approval, freedom of saying no, and freedom to be ourselves.


So How Do We Change?

I know, right….like great Madison...I already knew I had this issue. Listen up, this isn’t going to be an overnight switch or an easy process. But that’s why we are in it together. Here is how I am choosing to pursue this change.


  1. Confide with a friend/s that will not only support you, but also hold you accountable. Ones that you can use as your soundboard.

  2. Read, Listen, & surround yourself with helpful tools. (see recommendations below)

  3. Jot down a list of things or people you can’t seem to say no to. Then try to think of your why this is difficult for you.

  4. Learn more about your personality and why you instinctively seek others’ approval and/or accomplishments. I personally favor the Enneagram ( I know, I know, I feel like it’s been all the trend these days) But seriously take a couple tests and read up. https://enneagramtest.net/ https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions/

  5. Finally, learn more about your true, unshakable value as a daughter of Christ. I’m serious. When we understand this, we can choose to align ourselves with our true self.

I hope this helps friend. As always feel free to reach out. We are in this together.


Suggested Resources:

https://amzn.to/2SiShjE

(one of my all-time favorite authors)

https://amzn.to/2RTUkLG

(Also a great author and book!)

https://amzn.to/2DH5s5X

(I plan on reading this HIGHLY suggested book)